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[Music]

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welcome to the hidden truth show and our

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deep dive into the transgender movement

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which are about to see is a clip of our

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interview with a transgender priest her

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name is Gillian Klee she is an Episcopal

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priest at the constant Constance a be in

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Memphis and there she has also been

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providing guidance to people struggling

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with their gender this was one of our

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favorite interviews because it had a

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special twist in the middle she has

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somebody helping set up the interview

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his name is Reed Reed was the one that

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helped us schedule the interview and set

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up the audio video and so on and we

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thought we wouldn't see Reed again but

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in the middle of the interview when we

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were talking about her assisting people

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with transitioning Reed suddenly came

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back into the picture we were shocked

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with what we heard next we're excited to

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bring it to you hope you enjoy it so

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going back to the response of the church

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did you ultimately leave a church and

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enjoying this new church am I right

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about that after your transition I'm

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still an Episcopal priest in two days

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I've met affirming priests I haven't met

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one that gave me a hard time so yeah and

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I've counseled with with priests Church

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that I been attending have you since

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your transition had the ability to

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counsel any other people struggling with

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gender dysphoria yes and is that other

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other priests no they mostly laypeople I

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was that read waving oh yeah no I only

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waved

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because I am that person

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and so I know I think that we're fine on

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time oh oh but you you wave because

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you're that you're that person that

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conversation but yeah like I am trans

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I'm currently six months in the HRT I'm

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looking to become a priest Sunday after

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Vindi school so I look to mother Jillian

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as an inspiration to me right because

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she's already kind of walked the path

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that I'm going and am walking right now

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Wow so that's why that's also why I'm

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very excited about this opportunity

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right because anytime I get to share

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mother Jillian's story is an opportunity

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is an opportunity to share the story

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that I am very passionate Wow

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well thank you so much for being open

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about that I had no idea and that

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definitely adds an interesting dimension

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to the conversation so bottom line greed

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you are in the process of transitioning

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yes and it's funny because I mean I

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don't like because I have a lot of

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experience speaking I did public

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speaking when I was an undergrad I

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competed in mock trial so I have a very

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strong male speaking voice it's funny

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because I'm going to be going to a voice

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therapy after this but you know I'll

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work on that and that's something that

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will come with time but yeah right now

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I'm in the process and you know I'm very

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happy with where I'm at because I'm in a

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community with someone like mother

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Jillian who is able to kind of be this

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Trailblazer to set

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the standard that I can try and live up

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to right what about I'm just curious if

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you don't mind me asking you know these

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questions I'm asking about childhood

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traumas is that something that you think

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resonates with you as you're part of

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your childhood I wouldn't say I had a

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very interesting family dynamic because

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my mother she did have problems drinking

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when she was younger I will be

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completely upfront about that and I

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think that she's upfront about it as

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well but I'm not sure if that

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necessarily impacted this particular

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issue right eyeball and I've thought on

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that a lot I bring it on that a lot and

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trust me I've been asked about that a

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lot in therapy so I definitely visited

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this issue but no I had a very loving

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father who really loved me more than I

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thought he would because he's not my

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biological father um he and my mother

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married when I was one right and he's

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been absolutely wonderful throughout my

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entire life

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and you know I've had some conversation

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with him and he's aware that I am trans

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and he's open and welcoming to me and my

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mother is too she's a very he's a very

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interesting person definitely wears the

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pants in my household or my parents

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household but yeah I wouldn't say I

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wouldn't say that at least from my

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perspective plays as much of a role in

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me being trans right I feel like that's

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just more of an innate trait of my

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person right just something that is and

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always has been and always Lily what

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about do you agree with Jillian's

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statement that you know the dysphoria is

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something that you want to get resolved

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one way or the other and that it really

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doesn't matter which way it gets

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resolved you just want it resolved well

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I mean yes I do want to make sure

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because I tried doing everything I could

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to resolve it I think I did something

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very similar to mother Jillian right you

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know I went through the life I did

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everything I thought I should like when

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I was an undergrad I was actually

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engaged for a while I was top of my

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class at Rhodes College I was competing

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nationally mock trial I even modeled a

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little bit like I had what would be a

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great life and I was still unhappy right

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so I resonate a lot with what another

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Jillian said in that I felt like I

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needed a change and that this was the

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change No Korea is like it's a little

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bit every day but it is so much better

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now like I wake up and I'm happy and

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that wasn't the way it was the war

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because you know you're now on the path

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to to resolving it once and for all

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exactly right but yeah you know your

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story is similar and going back to

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Sabrina again it's a really great

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interview if you get a chance to listen

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to Sabrina's story but yes she tried

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everything to suppress those feelings

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and and and be as manly as possible

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perhaps to really put down those those

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feelings yeah neither you were in a

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fraternity

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I actually was as well for a little

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while so I completely yeah I resonate

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with that and I was a lot of people

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would look at me and say I was like the

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epitome of masculinity you know I was

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even like in my hometown the high school

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football hero you know like I went and I

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did all that but it always this was

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always always there and that's the sin

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that I have to bear because I got a deal

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with my you know with my relationships

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in the past I have to come to terms with

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them but it's something that has to be

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done because I don't want to go my

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entire life and have my parents die and

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not have them know who I am

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let me ask like a crazy hypothetical

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simplistic question and that is if you

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could snap your fingers and instantly

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have the dysphoria resolved and now it's

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gone but you're gonna live now as a

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trans woman or you're gonna live in your

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biological sex which would you choose

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trans woman instantly because and I'll

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tell you why yes this has been hard on

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me and yes it's made my life very

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difficult for me personally but as well

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but it has also had probably one of the

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strongest if not the strongest effect on

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creating the person I am today and I'm

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very proud of the person I am today just

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like I am proud of mother Jillian

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because she is a wonderful person and

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we're both doing wonderful work here in

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Memphis and I'm not

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sure if I didn't have this burden to

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bear that I would have gotten to this

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point no in one of Paul's letters even

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because I've been reading a lot of

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scripture on this there's a passage

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where he talks about the afflictions

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that we have and how we are given them

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by God to make us stronger and to

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prepare the Ministry of God on this

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earth and that's what I like to live and

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believe that God made me this way

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so that I could be a better person and

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so I could help others in the same

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situation

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yeah that's a that's a really

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interesting perspective and look it's

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it's all about happiness at the end of

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the day right I mean move without

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happiness what is life exactly so right

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now what do you think mother doing I

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think we are yeah well and then back to

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the therapy because again I'm gonna go

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to it because we did interview you know

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a couple people about this that that

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really believed in this therapy

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resolving childhood traumas you know

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that's not something it sounds like that

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you've necessarily tried but it's also

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not something that you necessarily feel

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that you want to go through you're happy

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on the course that you're on now me

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speaking personally yes yeah no I feel

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like I am and again like so that didn't

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really exist as much or maybe it did and

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I wasn't aware of it but I grew up in a

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month in a small town in Ohio right

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where the thought process was for me as

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a kid growing up because like if this

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looks this was always there I didn't

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have a name for it I mean like I was a

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kid I didn't I couldn't put a name on it

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like I could now it was always there but

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I knew right because I wasn't a popular

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kid I was real awkward I mean dealing

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with us she can imagine me being awkward

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and I was bullied a lot for it and so I

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knew that if this ever got the light of

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day to anyone in my own town that it

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would be the death of me you know and so

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to me it was literally life or death and

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so no I didn't tell my parents I didn't

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tell anyone my mother

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knew a little bit right because she was

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able to you know I live with her she was

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able to glean some things from living

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with me and she's told me that over the

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years right but that has never left

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between us for as long as I was in my

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hometown and to some extent today it

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still has and I'm still working on that

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it's easier now that I am away from

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there but to answer your question again

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oh no I don't think I would have wanted

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to go through that kind of therapy cuz

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it wouldn't have helped me when I was

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younger and really I've always known who

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I am

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it was just a matter of me kind of

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getting up the courage to act on that

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mm-hmm but you had the therapist now I

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do have a therapist now and I have great

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people in my life to help me I have a

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great support system here at Constance

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Abbey mother Jillian being at the center

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of it all and it's so helpful to have

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that support system but they support me

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and being Who I am right I know exactly

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what I want to do with my life and I

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have mother Jillian here to support me

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and what I want to do with my life and

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you don't sound nervous at all about the

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impending surgery I'm excited it's a fun

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adventure you know that's the way you go

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look at you gotta be positive about this

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I mean if everything was gloom and doom

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then I might as well have not

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transitioned and stayed in depression

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right like this is supposed to be happy

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yeah

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but mother Jillian hearing this I mean

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you probably in the days when you were

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Reid's age totally different times as

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far as the issue of transgenderism I

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mean describe for us the difference

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between when you were his age and and

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and now of course the only transgender

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person I knew out back there was

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Christine Jorgensen who was the former

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George Jorgensen of the Marine Corps and

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do you remember learning about that and

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having a certain reaction to

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yes which was that maybe where I has to

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go what if the climates were as it is

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today you think you would have done

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things differently yes transitioned

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earlier mm-hmm and saved yourself some

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suffering yes read what about you do you

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deal with depression I mean yes I

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thought with in a very different way I

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think just because I was always

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depressed I really looked to the people

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around me and I resonate with month with

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mother Jillian said earlier because I

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because I wasn't focused on making

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myself happy right and I mean I really

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like because if I knew if I wanted to

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make myself happy that would mean

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transitioning and that was an option on

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the table when I was younger so what I

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did was I focused on making other people

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happy right I tried to be the best

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student the best leader the best you

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know football player this that and the

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other but I mean so for as far as making

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other people happy right now I'm trying

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to have a change in mindset and it's

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hard right because I've been focused on

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trying to make other people's happy for

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my entire life but I came to the

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conclusion that if you keep doing that

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then you can make the entire world happy

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but if you can't look at yourself in the

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mirror then doesn't matter you know and

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I couldn't look at myself in the mirror

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mm-hmm and how old do you know I am 22

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Jillian what does it meant to you to be

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able to counsel read read is a great

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person with obviously more tech savvy

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than I have to set this up for me

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and he's just a great person and he does

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faithful Episcopalian well god bless you

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both thank you guys so much for your

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time incredible story Reed thank you for

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sharing that it wasn't expecting that

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but really really valuable to to hear

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your story also thank you for watching

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this excerpt from the hidden truth show

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podcast if you want to listen to the

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whole podcast please check out the

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hidden truth show podcast